Say No!
Adolescence is a transitory period in human life and the chances of
being influenced by peers and falling through pressure is acute.
Peer pressure leads to positive and negative both kind of
consequences. It not only fosters activities which are truly
extravagant but also stimulates genuinely important things.
Here are some points which help us to say NO, while you’re being
offered for sexual relation and if you are not really ready for it
(Referred from various sources) :
Take a deep breath and say these words, "No, I don't want to have
sex".
If the question arises while you are kissing or fooling around, stop
what you are doing and change the tone of the moment. Emphasize your
words with actions.
Be prepared for questions and/or objections. Stay true to yourself
and your stated feelings.
Calmly explain why you choose abstinence. List all of your reasons
be they religious, moral, personal or situational (or any
combination of these).
If you have had sex before don't let the other person use this to
bully you into it now, just because you have done it before doesn't
mean you have to do it every time you are asked.
Tell the other person how you feel about them and be honest. If you
don't feel close enough to them yet, say so. If you really love them
but aren't interested in sex, say so.
Tell the other person the depth of your commitment to abstinence. If
you don't plan on having sex until you are married, say so. If you
are curious but not ready, say so.
There is no reason for you to down play how you feel about sex or
sex with this specific person. At times like this honesty is an
absolute must.
If the other person keeps on pressing, say "No!" again. You may have
to say this more than once to make them see you are serious.
Do not try to diffuse the tension with lots of kissing and/or other
physical gestures, this will confuse your message of "No!"
Draw the line firmly and if the other person doesn't appear to be
getting it, leave.
If the other person starts trying to coerce you or force you to have
sex YELL "No!" and physically push them away. Leave and talk about
it the next day.
If the other person pulls the old "If you loved me you'd do it" line
retort with "If you loved me you'd wait". Sex is not a test of your
love or feelings for another person and saying "No!" to sex does not
mean you have failed to show your love.
If you feel uncertain of your ability to stay true to your initial
"No!" leave. Your first instinct was to say no and now is not the
time to second guess yourself.
Remind yourself that if it was meant to be with you and this other
person it was meant to be right for both of you, not only one of
you. Saying no now does not mean you are saying no forever.
Get ready to apply it in your behavior if you wish to !
-Rashmi K.C.
To publish your writings, please
email them to:
info@smartclub.org.np